What Not to Say on a First Date
Posted on August 3, 2007 | Filed Under Dating, Attracting Men, Communication, Attracting Women
Before you go on a first date you might have a few ideas of what you will say while on your date but keep in mind what not to say on a first date might be just the key to a wonderful and successful first date. Of course you only want to be yourself on a first date and you don’t want to act in a way that is not the real you but if your intention is to get a second date, what you don’t say on a first date might be even more important than what you do say. The following is a list of the top ten things not to say on a first date if you want to give yourself the best chance of getting a second date.
1. It might go without saying but what not to say on a first date is anything related to your ex partner. The fastest way to turn someone off or throw ice cold water over your date is to mention your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend or any other ex from your past. A first date is like a new beginning so there is never any need to talk about what is old or in the past.
2. If there seems to be a significant difference between your age and the age of your date there is no point bringing it up on a first date. The bottom line is neither of you are naive enough to not realize the age difference and you both want to be on the date otherwise you would not have agreed to the date in the first place, so talking about your age on the first date is a no no. You can always discuss the age difference if you decide to continue your relationship beyond the first date.
3. What not to say on a first date are your thoughts on marriage or anything else related to you or anyone else you know getting married. It might be completely innocent chatter without any underlying motive but your date could take it the wrong way and think that this first date masks a more elaborate plan or your part.
4. Don’t talk about your parents on a first date since this topic can be quite sensitive for many people for numerous reasons. If someone has an awkward relationship with their parents you could touch a nerve by mentioning parents and this could upset your date and ruin your chances of getting another one. There is plenty of time to talk about your parents in the future if you get to that stage.
5. In terms of what not to say on a first date, talking about money can lead to a range of problems and could even alter the flow of an otherwise successful date. When someone talks about money it can create frustration with people who have little money and completely turn off other people who perhaps have a lot of money. You will find out in time where each of you stands in relation to money as your relationship progresses.
6. One way to quickly turn off a prospective partner is to talk about any illness you may have or have had in the past. Illness or any type of sickness whether it is physical or mental in nature will not work in your favor or set a comfortable mood for a first date.
7. What not to say on a first date is how often you go out on dates. If you date all the time you are hardly going to make someone feel special in any way if he or she thinks you are just a serial dater. If you rarely date you might give the impression there is something wrong with you so for these reasons it is best not to mention it.
8. No matter how cool you think you are or how honest you like to be with someone from the very beginning, never talk about any of your run ins with the law. If you spent two years in the joint for possession of narcotics or got a 12 month suspended sentence for aggravated assault and you think you will impress your date by telling them this, think again. Even if they were impressed you need to wonder where this relationship will lead to. If you just want to be honest, keep it to yourself for the time being and bring it up after a few dates so your date can at least see that you have changed or matured since your restless years.
9. If you like your date and hope a relationship will flourish with time don’t mention sex in any way, not even as a joke. If you make reference to how many sexual partners you have had in your life this can never work in your favor. This information really never needs to be mentioned in a relationship at any time since the past is just not relevant to the present although if you were to talk about this, the first date is not the time to do it.
10. This might be another obvious no no but what not to say on a first date is anything that makes you appear desperate. Don’t say things like, I have always liked you, I so much want this relationship to work out, I didn’t think you would like someone like me or tell them that you care about them before you have even gotten to know them. One more thing, if you want a second date at least wait till the first date is over till you start planning the next date.
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