Scared of Dating?
Posted on March 2, 2007 | Filed Under Dating
You might not exactly be scared of dating but you definitely feel a little anxious when the thought of dating comes up. This is completely normal and almost everyone feels like this at some stage from first time daters to seasoned veterans, a first date can be stressful. So why do you want to go on that first date if it causes you some stress? The reason is pretty obvious since you know or you certainly expect that what lies beyond that first date might be the most magic and mysterious feeling in the whole world and that is what we all want. Yes, that’s right, love. Like the Huey Lewis song says “love is a curious thing”. It is so curious in fact that we will put ourselves through almost anything to get it and it’s hard to get if you are scared of dating but you can get over that without too much trouble.
The first thing to understand is that you are not alone feeling the way you do. Pretty much everyone feels the same way, it is scary going on a first date because you really want the other person to like you and you know you may need to open up about yourself to let that happen. It’s very scary to let someone into your personal life but without doing it dating doesn’t really work. So it’s comforting to know that the person you are dating most probably feels the same fears and has the same sort of apprehension as you have. For this reason you should cut yourself some slack and know that it doesn’t really matter what happens, just try and enjoy yourself. If the other person didn’t already like you then you wouldn’t be on the date in the first place. No one goes on a date with someone they don’t already like on some level, even if it starts out as just a physical attraction.
There is no rule book on dating but it’s best just to be yourself. If you present any other image of yourself other than the person you really are how could things go any further if you hit it off in the beginning. By being yourself and acting the way you normally act in your everyday life is the best way to give this potential relationship any sort of fighting chance. Trying to be or act differently than the real you won’t help you or the person you are on the date with in the long run so why waste the time. If the other person doesn’t like you for you, well it’s not going to work out anyway. Making a fool of yourself or getting your foot stuck in your mouth isn’t such a big deal and your date might even find this funny. Incidents like this can really break the ice since both of you will probably feel a bit nervous. Often it’s the little silly things or imperfections in people that can be most appealing, no one is perfect and who would even want to be dating someone who was?
You should never judge a book by its cover. By this I mean, don’t make an assumption about someone before giving them a chance. If you like someone ask them on a date or put yourself in a position where they might ask you on a date by getting their attention. You can get someone’s attention pretty quickly by just smiling at them. What have you got to lose? Don’t ever think someone is out of your league, or think that person wouldn’t want someone like you. You don’t know what they like but if you ask them on a date or give them some subtle yet obvious hints that you like them you might be pleasantly surprised to find out that they like you enough to go on a date with you. When you like someone there is a kind of magic in the air and you never know what might happen if you get a hold of your fears and take action.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Nobody wants to face rejection for the obvious reason that it hurts but if you don’t try you might be missing out on something great. If no one ever took any risks we would still be living in caves and running around the planet throwing rocks at each other. If you like someone go for it, go and say something, anything, it doesn’t matter what you say. If the other person likes you, you will probably end up on a date together and be so happy that you made some sort of effort or otherwise you would probably bit sitting at home alone wishing you said something to that person you like. Rejection builds character and dating is a numbers game, the more you do it the better you will become and the more chance you will give yourself of finding happiness with a great partner.
All you need to do is take the smallest step to get a date and that only needs to take a minute or so of your time to say hello and ask that person out. Most people are good people deep down and even if they are not interested in you or they already have a partner, they know how much courage it takes to ask somebody on a date and you will have their respect. Yes it’s scary but by facing your fears enough times you will eventually find what you are looking for and that’s got to be worth the effort.
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2 Responses to “Scared of Dating?”
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Good advice.
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