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Getting Over Your Past

Posted on July 5, 2007 | Filed Under Dating, Attracting Men, Communication, Attracting Women 

By getting over your past is one sure fire way to start a new relationship with your best foot forward. While you remain caught up in your past or you are unable to move on from the problems that bugged you in a previous relationship you will not be able to happily move forward successfully in a new relationship. Getting over your past is ideally something to aim for before you even start a new relationship.

Many people have immense trouble getting over their past and because of this they fall back into the arms of the same type of incompatible person time and time again. We have all seen this happen to someone we know, they get hurt over and over again and then finally get out of this life draining relationship only to start right back over again where they left off, but this time with the same person only they have a different face.

If you are someone who falls into this category and have had trouble getting over your past, do not worry, there is a way out and you can help yourself by learning to detect the red flags or early warning signs. If you don’t take a step back and sort out this depressing condition it may haunt you for the rest of your life. You are certainly not alone, many people fail to get over their past until they realize it is the thing that has been holding them back from finding the ideal partner and a chance at happiness.

Firstly, look at the character traits of your old partners and see where they had something in common that was something that ended up causing a big problem for you. It could even be something that at first you were attracted to. For example you may have been attracted to people with a slightly arrogant demeanor, or someone that sweet talked you before they really got a chance to know you well enough for that sweet talk to be sincere. Whatever it is you will know about it and you will begin to remember those early warning signs that you didn’t listen to last time because you were so caught up with the idea that this person will be different from the last.

The thing with getting over your past is, until you make some changes within yourself you will be a magnet for attracting the same wrong people again and again. Maybe your past problems run deeper than just your old partners, maybe you have carried issues with you since you were a kid. These issues may be hard for you to confront or deal with but to get moving in the right direction once and for all, you need to get clear about this and stop repeating the same old patterns.

Don’t hide from any problems that have come up before that ended up causing you grief, deal with them as they arise and they will probably go away for good. If you see something in a new potential partner that you intuitively feel is not right, move on from it and do not think it will be ok because it will not be. If you have any feeling someone is being insincere or you think they do not seem compatible you are much better off being alone till the right person comes along. It can be a lonely place on your own but it is much better than being with someone who is incompatible.

Until you get over your past and resolve or leave old problems behind for good you will have difficulty beginning a relationship with a clean slate. If you notice you are still resolving old relationship issues with your new partner you will not be able to progress to the next level. At this point you need to either drop those issues for good and know they can’t hurt you anymore or you need to spend time on your own till you have made peace with those issues.

If you have normally begun unsuitable relationships under certain circumstances or in particular environments it would be wise to avoid them from now on. For example if you have only met and begun relationships while drinking in bars it is time to move on or you will only keep running around in circles.

Lastly, get clear with your new partners from the word go, be honest and up front about yourself, your motivations and what you want. If you notice any red flags or feel the same feelings from before that turned out to be a disaster, do not travel down that road again. It really is all up to you since you are the one that knows what does and does not feel right. If it feels right go for it, if you are not sure, remember the decision is always yours to make.

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