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Dating Your Friends Ex

Posted on April 6, 2007 | Filed Under Dating, Communication 

Dating your friends ex can be a delicate situation depending on a number of factors. If your friend has only just broken up with their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend it is just basic etiquette amongst friends to at least allow enough time for the dust to settle before you start dating your friends ex. Of course how soon is too soon to start dating a friend’s ex all depends on a number of conditions that only you can predict through your own instincts. If dating your friends ex makes you feel uncomfortable and doesn’t seem quite right than I think it’s better to wait a bit longer or perhaps give up on the idea altogether. 

In reality it shouldn’t really matter since if your friend and their ex didn’t work out together there is certainly no reason why you shouldn’t have a chance at finding happiness with that person. If you have become friends with your friends ex partner over a period of time it might be that the two of you may very well be right for eachother and your friend should be adult enough to accept and understand your rights and freedom to date their ex if you and the ex feel you like eachother.

Obviously the time factor plays an important part in when would be ok to start dating your friends ex. If for example your friend had broken up with their ex a year or more ago there certainly should be no real big issues if you decided to start dating a friends ex. The bottom line really comes down to how you feel about dating your friends ex and how good of a friend is that person. If it’s your long time best friend of many years maybe you could approach them and ask them for their blessing if you feel that would be the right course of action for your particular situation although in an adult world you really shouldn’t have to do this.

Making the decision and going ahead with dating your friends ex might be a big step for some but it might also allow you to see what your friendship is made of. Although relationships with partners and friends can be complicated and intertwined there really is no problem with you choosing to date your friends ex since everyone deserves their chance at happiness no matter who it is with. I once dated a friends ex for a few years but my friend and his ex had been broken up for a number of years and he had since gotten married to somebody else when I decided to start seeing his ex girlfriend and although I did eventually break up with the girl, my friend and I have always remained good friends. On the other hand, a couple of my friends have dated ex girlfriends of mine and although at the time it can feel a little off putting I always wished for them the best of happiness since who am I to stand in the way of a relationship between two people who are attracted to one another.

At the end of the day dating your friends ex comes down to a number of factors that you need to work out for each and every circumstance but it’s never worth letting insecurity get in the way and preventing two people at taking a shot at a potentially great relationship and a chance to be happy.

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