Dating Married Men
Posted on June 17, 2007 | Filed Under Attracting Men, Dating
No matter which way you cut it, dating married men is usually a lose lose situation. Even if you don’t care what other people think and really you shouldn’t have to care what other people think, the fact remains that dating married men does carry a social stigma that may be difficult to escape from. There are a number of possible outcomes that could result from your relationship with a married man and in this article we will look at some of them.
Although in most cases dating married men can only lead to at least one person getting hurt I guess there is one scenario where both parties can remain happy. If a girl is dating a married man with the sole intention of being financially supported by him or wants to remain basically single but still have the occasional sexual union with him and he is happy with just that, then maybe things won’t turn sour if both parties can walk away at anytime. However, in a real world situation this rarely ever seems to be the case. Usually at least one person gets emotionally attached and then the situation can become complicated or ugly. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that.
Perhaps you have a history of dating married men and this way you know you can walk away at anytime and this comforts you in some way. The thing is though, by doing this you may be able to walk away but he might not be so lucky if his wife finds out or he falls for you but all you want to do is walk away. The truth is he is at fault for getting himself in the situation in the first place but it is an ugly situation for both parties to be in.
When you are dating a married man you put yourself in a negative energy zone so to speak. When I say negative energy zone, I mean although the secret meetings and the wild sex might be alluring in a way, it is all blanketed in a fine layer of guilt from both sides. You may not even be aware of the underlying guilt on a conscious level and perhaps both of you do not even care but subconsciously you are aware of what is going on and this can have the effect of causing conflict and pain between you both when emotions begin to change or feelings get hurt.
Having a brief affair with a married man is one thing and perhaps might even be a good thing for both parties on some level to get clearer on what they both want but dating married men can lead to misery and a broken heart.
Even in the seemingly best case scenario where the man decides to leave his wife and their unsuccessful relationship and take things to the next level with his mistress by becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, where can you go from here? Would you really ever trust him since you know he is unfaithful and has no problem maintaining more than one relationship? Perhaps you are ok with that and can live happily ever after. It is possible for that to happen but it might be something you just can’t get out of your head.
Like I mentioned earlier, you don’t need to worry about what other people think but maybe you are someone who does care about what others think and how you are perceived. Although I don’t agree any of us have the right to judge the behavior of others, many people still do and their judgment, however misguided it may seem to be, could disrupt your union with your new man that everyone knows is a cheater.
Dating a married man might seem to have its advantages on the outside and perhaps you don’t feel like you are the guilty party but that can lead to trouble even after you and your lover have long parted ways. Sadly people are very judgmental and some people like to stick their nose into other people’s business. What I’m getting at is being involved on either side in a relationship based on infidelity can backfire in the future when you do finally meet the guy of your dreams and he finds out you were previously dating a married man. Maybe he won’t care and really, why should he? However, maybe he will think that you have a loose set of boundaries when it comes to a committed relationship.
There is no right or wrong answer in relation to whether dating married men is ok or not. It’s a decision you need to make yourself but consider all the possibilities and potential outcomes before you do and you might find it’s better to wait for a single guy or just remain single yourself.
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